For many Australian families, helping an adult child buy a home has become part of the property journey.
It might be a contribution towards a deposit, help with stamp duty, a loan that will be repaid later or a child moving back home to save.
Estate planning lawyer and Family First Estate Planning founder Jaime Stefanac said families often made these decisions informally, without discussing what the money was meant to be or how it should be treated in the future.
“That’s where things can become difficult,” Jaime said.
“Everyone may be completely aligned when the money is transferred. But circumstances change. A relationship breaks down, a parent needs funds later in life, another child feels they've been treated differently, or someone dies.”
The growing reliance on the Bank of Mum and Dad has made parental assistance a much bigger part of the property market, particularly as first-home buyers face higher prices and larger deposit requirements.
Jaime said the first question families should answer was simple: was the money a gift, a loan or an advance on a future inheritance?
“They're very different things, even if they all come from a place of love and wanting to help,” she said.
“If it's a loan, the family needs to be clear about whether it'll be repaid, when it'll be repaid and what happens if the property is sold or the couple separates.
“If it's a gift, parents should still consider whether they expect that help to be taken into account when their estate is eventually divided between children.”
The issue can become particularly complicated when one adult child receives a significant contribution towards a home, while another receives different support later.
That might include private-school fees, free accommodation, childcare, business support or a separate financial gift.
“Fair doesn't always mean every child receives the exact same amount at the exact same time,” Jaime said.
“But families should have the conversation early and make sure their estate planning reflects what they intend. Silence can leave children trying to interpret what their parents wanted after they're gone.”
Jaime said parents should also consider what may happen to their contribution if their child separates from a partner.
A properly documented arrangement won't prevent every dispute, but it can provide much-needed clarity around the parents’ intentions and the source of the money.
“Documenting it isn't about distrusting your child or their partner,” she said.
“It’s about protecting relationships by making sure everyone understands the arrangement from the beginning.”
For parents considering helping a child into property, Jaime said the financial decision should sit alongside a broader conversation about their own retirement, estate plan and the needs of their other children.
“Helping your children into a home can be one of the most meaningful things you do,” she said.
“But it’s worth taking a moment before the money changes hands to make sure the help you're giving today doesn't create confusion or conflict for the family later.”
